Moving into the boat is shaking up my life in many different ways. I’m learning skills and doing projects I never thought I’d be capable of, and now, I’m heading out for an opportunity to learn a true survival skill.

I learned how to scuba dive 13 years ago, and seeing all the beautiful fish up close changed my life forever. I haven’t eaten fish since. That first breath of life underwater hit me like a drug. I wanted more. So I became a scuba instructor, left my real career, and the rest is history. 

I became a vegetarian in a roundabout way. I stopped eating fish first. Then, while taking my yoga teacher training, I stopped eating meat. I have maintained that lifestyle for over a decade due to several factors: environmental, animal rights, and spiritual. However, in recent years, I’ve developed a deep respect for hunters who have a personal connection to their food sources. So when considering the idea of living on a boat, I decided it would be responsible of me to learn how to spearfish.

I have been lucky enough to be supported by Spear America and their impressive team of free divers. They set me up with all the perfect gear for a beginner, and continue to answer any outlandish questions that pop into my head. If you’re in the market for freediving or spear fishing gear, check out their shop and use code AZUL for 10% off.

Their shop in Redondo Beach was our hub for a Catch and Cook course led by US National Record holder and free diving instructor, Lance Lee Davis. Cindy, my boss from Surf-fur, organized this trip as an opportunity to develop free diving skills and try something new together.

Loading the spear gun is something else. The bands need to be tight enough so the spearo is just barely capable of pulling them into place. This maximizes the power of the spear for that user. I consider myself a strong individual, and this seemed very doable, but I would find later on that this would be one of my greatest challenges.

The course included lectures on the ecosystem, hunting techniques, and breathwork. This unlocked a completely new perspective on diving. Lance spoke about working with the water conditions during a hunt and understanding the behaviors of different target creatures in the local environment. The course wasn’t only about spearfishing. He reminded us that shooting a spear gun is a skill developed over time, so he also taught us about lobster hunting and foraging.

The difficulty of the sport is part of the reason I chose it. Could I have gone with a rod and reel setup from the cockpit of my boat? Absolutely. I would’ve just had to learn how to gut a fish, and I’d be done.

The intrigue of spearfishing is in the connection to the ecosystem. A primal, animalistic effort. A hunter’s skill and resilience in the elements. An ability to hone in on and specifically choose the correct type, size, and health of a target animal.

Spearfishing is also insurance against bycatch, which is the capture of non-target species. This is a serious problem in commercial fishing, regardless of technique, because fishing nets and lines don’t have discernment.

Our first openwater session was an equipment shakedown. I have only ever been freediving in warmer water, so this was my first experience with not only an open-cell wetsuit but also with exerting the necessary effort to overcome the buoyancy of 5.5mm of neoprene at the surface.

And all of a sudden, it felt like I was back at square one in my freediving journey.

I couldn’t equalize. I kept trying, and I kept getting blocked. I would have to go horizontal to clear my ears. Luckily, the dive site was gorgeous, and I could cruise around enjoying the light exploding through the kelp, but I was frustrated, which wasn’t helping the situation. Finally, Lance suggested I try without my hood… and bingo. I was experiencing a squeeze from my well-fitted hood. It was such a relief to Frenzel upside down again. If you’ve watched my videos for a while, you know that freediving hasn’t come easy for me. I even failed my first freediving course.

Regardless of the sport, new gear means figuring out how to set it up perfectly for you. Many free divers have the same hood squeeze issues I was experiencing day one. Some people mitigate this by simply allowing water in the hood at the surface before diving, but I didn’t find relief that way. Other options I have read about include using specialized diving earplugs or punching holes in a brand-new wetsuit. It’s never fun to modify gear like this, but it’s all part of the personalization process.

Day two was all about the spear gun. Lance gave us a safety briefing and showed diving techniques with the extra equipment. Both Cindy and I tried diving with the unloaded spear gun for practice, and it seemed easy enough. Then we tried loading it. I didn’t get footage of our efforts, but all of a sudden, I was unable to pull tension on the bands. This time, overwhelm and nerves flooded my system, causing another block. So, we switched gears to urchin hunting, but I was spent. I could barely reach the reef, which was only 35 feet deep, so I dove to the best of my abilities while watching and learning.

Red sea urchins, known as uni, are the most popular sea urchin for harvesting. There are several types of sea urchins, and if you have watched my videos about Reef Check Foundation, you’ll know about the pressures of urchin barrens on kelp forests. However, urchin barrens are created from an overpopulation of purple sea urchins. Many people ask, can’t you eat those too? And the answer is yes, with a caveat. While purple sea urchins are edible, they are much smaller and yield less roe, which is the meaty gonad. Because it is such a challenge to harvest uni in the first place, targeting small yields has never made sense for hunters or commercial fishing operations.

This sea urchin harvest was the first “hunting” experience in the course. At this point, I was still having a lot of feelings about killing and eating these beautiful creatures I admire in nature. So when Lance offered me a piece of raw uni, I finally had to think about how I wanted to do this. I declined because I hadn’t been able to harvest any of the sea urchins myself. And to be honest, I wanted a little more time to process what I was doing, how I felt about it, and what this would mean for me moving forward.

We hopped on a boat and took off toward the open sea, eventually crossing paths with a pod of dolphins as we reached our destination.

The oil rigs. I have wanted to dive these structures for years.

Our goal for the dive was to load up on scallops. I was told that out here, the shellfish are healthy and delicious since the structures sit in cooler temperatures and there is plenty of fresh water movement. The populations and critter sizes are bigger because of minimal fishing pressures. It’s not an easy place to get to or dive on. I was warned that this would be a challenge for me. The upper part of the structures is cleaned every few years (down to about 50-60 feet), which means the most life and best shellfish start in the 50-foot and deeper range. My deepest dive to date is only 59 feet, so I wasn’t expecting to get to participate much in the harvesting. My goal was to send gratitude to the ocean for providing the bounty of the day’s harvest, dive as much as I could, and enjoy the scenery with all the sea lions.

I learn best by watching people, asking follow-up questions, and then trying it myself, so I asked for help. I followed Lance down on a few dives, but I’ll be honest, the whole situation was overwhelming. Whenever I watched another scallop get removed, I felt anxiety building, making me want to bail and get to the surface. I noticed it in the moment and would calm myself through the panic, but even the short burst of cortisol severely limited my ability to stay underwater. My cells were screaming for the comfort of a breath, so I bailed time and time again.

We took a break from diving and switched gears to learn about the weirdest seafood I’ve ever seen… gooseneck barnacles.

Although these are not a popular food here in the United States, in Europe, they are a sought-after delicacy. A true intertidal species, these barnacles love to grow in places where the waves are crashing in and out, making them difficult, and sometimes extremely dangerous, to harvest along shorelines. Out at the oil rigs, however, this was the first thing I was actually able to collect. I said a little prayer of thanks and grabbed some barnacles. I think their strange features made it easier to break the seal of my seafood hiatus.

With that one simple action, I felt ready to try grabbing a scallop, but every time I dove down, I found myself blocked, and not in the equalization department. During a dive like this, you focus on getting down. Then, when you hit your maximum depth, you can start to do work. Each dive, I would use energy to get down, and once I arrived, I felt blind to the scallops on the rig. It also seemed like I didn’t have enough energy to do work at depth. The adrenaline was getting to me.

But toward the end of our session, I had a breakthrough. I sent a little gratitude prayer out to the ocean, took a deep breath, and went for it.

It wasn’t a big one, but it was a start.

I couldn’t go deep enough for a big scallop, and I truly felt bad about taking one so small, but it was a triumphant moment in the steps toward my goal of becoming a spearo.

The next step was to learn the basics of hunting with a spear gun and dispatching a fish. I watched Lance closely as he prepared his spear gun, and away we went. I was expecting to have to dive a few times, but on the first dive, Lance became part of the structure, observed the fish, and shot a sheepshead right in the gills. He says sheepshead are super easy to shoot because they aren’t afraid of divers, but it was still impressive to witness. Seeing the dying body of the fish on the line broke my heart, but Lance dispatched it with a quick knife to the head, and as gory as that sounds, I truly believe that if you eat animals, but can’t handle seeing the death and process of that animal making it to your plate, then you shouldn’t be eating them in the first place.

In the United States, we’ve become completely disconnected from our food sources and, many times, priced out of local food options. The system is completely screwed up, making people lean towards affordable and convenient food. Specifically, in regard to seafood, a lot of times the cheap stuff is linked to irresponsible fishing techniques like bottom trawling. Even when you try to spend your money with ethical or sustainable companies, commercial fishing is still the wild west. You can’t really be sure about the true sustainability of the fish you are eating unless you hunt it yourself or you buy from a trusted, local fisherperson.

I understand that not everyone has access to fresh fish sources, but I really believe that we need to get away from our modern comforts of having everything available all the time. By boycotting big companies and buying local when possible, consuming less fish/meat, and buying only what’s necessary, I believe we can actually make real change for the collective society and the environment. It may not be possible to do all things perfectly, but if enough of us do it to the best of our abilities, change can happen.

All the emotions hit me on the ride back to land. The past year has been stacked with one intense learning experience after another. I’ve never felt more capable, and yet overwhelmed by the sheer act of expanding my horizons.

But as we unpacked our bounty from the last few days of freediving, I realized the hardest part was still ahead of me…

Lance invited a bunch of friends over, and as we sat down at the table, I had a choice to make.

I was having a bit of an out-of-body experience cutting into the barnacle, but it felt very apropos to take on the most obscure thing on the table as my first bit of seafood in over a decade.

I moved on to scallops, trying both the raw and seared options, and then a delicious tomato sauce with mussels, which we collected along with the gooseneck barnacles.

There was an incredible amount of food on the table, but I decided to be mindful and not overdo it. I figured my body may have an adverse reaction to the sudden change in diet, plus, the whole event was very stimulating. Despite that, the experience of collecting the food and then sharing it around a big table of old and new friends was beautiful. A memory that I will take home to the Puget Sound and attempt to recreate.

See what trips are coming up. I always give my community first dibs on spots, so you can sign up for Patreon (and get trip discounts) or my email list to be the first to know about new expeditions in the future.